Lamar Jackson might be unstoppable on the football field, but even MVPs have to deal with the real-world defensive line known as errands.
One quiet Tuesday afternoon, Lamar found himself facing an unexpected challenge: grocery shopping.
His mom had given him a simple mission—grab some milk, bread, and eggs. Easy, right? WRONG.
The Blitz at Aisle 5
As soon as Lamar stepped into the store, he realized his mistake: he forgot to wear a hat or sunglasses. Within seconds, a wave of Ravens fans spotted him.
“Lamar! Can I get a selfie?”
“Lamar, sign my baby!”
“Yo, bro, can you do that spin move real quick?”
It was a full-on blitz, and Lamar knew he had two choices: either spend the next hour signing autographs next to the frozen peas, or make a run for it.
The Great Escape
Using his elite vision, Lamar spotted an opening near the cereal aisle. He juked past a group of teenagers, spun around an elderly couple debating which oatmeal to buy, and side-stepped an overenthusiastic employee holding a stack of coupons.
At one point, he had to hurdle a rogue shopping cart. Somewhere in the store, a manager whispered, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
The Final Drive
After an MVP-level performance, Lamar reached the checkout line—only to realize he forgot the milk.
With the clock running down, he did what any great quarterback would do: he audibled. He called out to a nearby employee, “Hey bro, can you toss me some milk?”
The employee, a former high school quarterback, saw his moment of glory. He launched a perfect spiral across the store. Lamar caught it one-handed like it was nothing.
The store erupted in cheers. One old man yelled, “That boy good!”
Lamar paid, gave a quick nod to his fans, and jogged out—just another day in the life of a superstar quarterback.
When he got home, his mom looked in the bags and frowned.
“Lamar, where are the eggs?”
